\"Felt understanding\" is a crucial determinant of positive interpersonal and intergroup relationships. However, the question of why felt understanding shapes intergroup relations has been neglected. In a pre-registered test of the process in intergroup relations with a sample from East Asia, we manipulated felt understanding (understood versus misunderstood by an outgroup) in an experimental study (N = 476). The results supported the expectation that felt understanding would lead to a more positive intergroup orientation and action intention. The results of parallel mediation analyses showed that felt understanding indirectly predicted intergroup outcomes through felt positive regard, intergroup overlap, and outgroup stereotypes. Furthermore, the results of post-hoc sequential mediation analyses indicated that felt understanding indirectly predicted intergroup outcomes sequentially through felt positive regard and intergroup overlap, followed by outgroup stereotypes.

Relational experiences play a critical role in shaping how individuals see themselves. In four studies (N=945) using person-perception, longitudinal, and experimental designs, we demonstrate that feeling understood changes individuals\' self-concept by increasing the centrality of a specific relationship (relationship identification). Study 1 showed that participants perceived an individual to be more identified with their relationship when their partner was high (vs. low) in understanding. Study 2 extended these results by examining individuals in romantic relationships longitudinally. The results of Studies 1 and 2 were distinct for understanding compared to acceptance and caring. Studies 3 and 4 manipulated felt understanding. Recalling many versus few understanding instances (Study 3) and imagining a close other being low versus high in understanding (Study 4) led individuals to feel less understood, which reduced identification in their friendships and romantic relationships. Furthermore, Study 4 suggests that coherence may be one mechanism through which felt understanding increases relationship identification.

The present research investigated whether having out-group friends serves as a buffer for feeling misunderstood in interracial interactions. Across three experience sampling studies, we found that among ethnic minorities who have few White friends or are not interacting with White friends, daily interracial interactions are associated with feeling less understood. By contrast, we found that among ethnic minorities who have more White friends or are interacting with White friends, the relationship between daily interracial interactions and feeling understood is not significant. We did not find similar results for Whites; that is, having ethnic minority friends did not play a role in the relationship between daily interracial interactions and feeling understood. Together, these studies demonstrate the beneficial effects of intergroup friendships for ethnic minorities.